Detention

Tick tock the clock beckons
It’s 6am
Treadmill of life lay ahead, needs of the day have to be met
The impatient drivers speed and hoot
My polished boots pitter patter in a hurry
Can’t be late for work, oh shoot!
Monday bleeds into Tuesday into Sunday
Infinite loops vicious circles
Standing on square one
Choosing between the devil and the deep blue sea
The humdrum of daily existence deafen my ears
This is how it’s been hours days weeks months and years

Fast forward in lightning speed
Until the pause button has been hit
Now the eternal Spring shall never fade
The bed of thorns have been made
The final nail has fallen
On pine boxes in short supply
Bodies roll in trenches 6 feet deep
No birds singing not a soul not a peep
Health is the new found wealth
Economy in free fall
Dollar no longer the king

Powerful few, nothing new
No convention no seminar
Office lights dim, doors shut tight
Blemished reputation, lack of validation
Flawed image
Oh the carnage!

Come into my new world
Meet and greet my foe
Covid-19 it is not
It is I, I the big shot
Plague infested mind in chaos
Sleepless nights swarm with demons in my brain
Veins rising with cortisol adrenaline and pain
I sob I scream into the night
Seclusion you fill my soul with fright
Self reflection introspection is all there is
Facing conundrum
Oh please!
Need to compose need to decide
Should I be authentic a bit tainted
Or pristine, perfectly painted?
Life seems absurd, love seems pointless
What was the meaning when I was shameless?

I waited for you
Only you
Now I just wait
Wait for your footsteps on the platform
Wait for echoes of our laughter our joke as we sip on whiskey and coke
Wait in titillation while gazing onto the silverscreen
Wait for the scissors to tidy and trim
Wait for the school bells the church bells to ring
Wait for your eyes to caress my skin

Tick tock tick tock
The clock squeal
The clock creak
I slip into a rabbit hole
I grab my ears in disbelief!

9 seconds of inhumanity, a lifetime of shame

I am waiting with a cup of tea for the technical support team to call and help me resume my work from home. Images of a white cop in America kneeling down on the neck of an unarmed black man flashes on my TV screen.
On May 25, Mr. Floyd was pronounced dead as a direct result of this.

Like millions around the globe, I could almost feel the pain and anguish of the victim, George Floyd as he was gasping for air, pleading for dear life. Once again an automatic thought crossed my mind. How and why is it that me, who was not even present at the incident, never met this victim can almost feel his dying breath and yet the cop who is with him can callously kill him with ease?

Although there are many dynamics to this horrific incident and this kind of racism is systemic in USA, today I want to focus on what motivate these individuals to act in such heinous way. This is my explanation.

1) RACISM is nothing more than a manifestation of feeling superior over others perceived as inferiors. It is merely a power construct. This cop needed to feel superior and the obvious way to do that is to denigrate, diminish, destroy the other. By definition this confirms his superiority by reducing the victim inferior. For clarity all you have to do is look at the sheer arrogance and glee as he is kneeling on Mr. George’s neck. Smfh ( shaking my fucking head)!

2) EMPATHY Empathy Empathy !!
It is precisely why I could feel George Floyd’s pain as he was suffocating and the cop felt nothing because of the lack of it.

Empathy is the ability to put yourself in another’s place and understand their feelings and what they are experiencing. Many have the intellectual ability to do this. But without the emotional component they will recognise the pain but fail to feel/experience it. Empathy is indeed a complex emotional skill and prevents us from being cruel to others generally.

People who lack emotional empathy see others as mere objects and callously disregard their feelings thoughts and desires. Without empathy there’s nothing to stop you being inhumane and turn into a beast.This cop felt nothing for George Floyd as he was brutally killing him. How? in a nutshell: HIS LACK OF EMPATHY

This incident is a powerful display of overt cruelty from the need to feel superior and lacking empathy.

FOOTFALL

I open the doors to the twilight zone
I walk along the rugged roads
The tarmac, the oil, the crushed rocks
stick to the sole of my plastic clogs
I lift my mask, wrap my scarf
A dagger slash through the sapphire skies
Erupting in fiery red
An eternal reminder of the violent loss n all that is dead
What happened while I lay there in bed??

Did the demons fill up our lungs with crushed dream and hope?
A few drops of poison stifle the soul with tight rope?
Did the fairies sprinkle pixie dust while I was asleep?
Taking care of the upkeep?

I walk on deflated
The autumnal wind gushing as it announces it’s painful existence
Like the dust whisked from the pavement into the air
Gone is the world that I recognised
The sweet scent of bacon and tea
Filled the air with hunger and thirst
Farewell to the metallic blue pub that stood there in pride
Replaced with a gaping hole that howled and cried

Queen pair of 747 exit the scenes
With the splendour of their music
As the angels’ tears cascade from the heavens so sick

Travelodge, Premier Inn, Jury’s Inn
Remnants from the past
White cotton bedsheets
Soaked in love
Drenched in pain
Scorned with valediction with nothing more to gain

I walk on in defiance
The ghost town cast it’s shadow as it bows down in compliance

Tier on tier our morale erode
Ordinary faces all wasted away
Voices of sweet nothings dissipate and fade
Can you hear the sirens drawing in?
Can you see the spiritless sun spiralling and spin?

I soldier on in my melted clogs
Into the untold
Not knowing what ahead lie
My heart pounding in a pitiful rage
Is this the new world, new life, new normal
I gasp as I walk on by…

You

Kiss by kiss I drench your lips with sweet poison
Ignite your carnal desire that spurt through the tiny channels of your crushed veins

The blossoming garden has a flower that never blooms
The smell of damp soil, fungi diffuse into the warm breeze
Sting your soul with aching convulsions

Caresses invade every pore of your skin
Suffocating the air with stifled moans
This is how I loved you
Many of you
None of you

Hey you!
I do not remember your face, your wound, your tenderness
Mist whipped into fog that obliterate you
All of you
Both of you
None of you

In the land of fantasy, unicorns, I rule
You are the anti hero
The moon bleeds profusely
You are the spectator
Silence never broken
Whispers of love softly spoken

Wrap me in your aphrodisiac tongue
Make the sun explode
The stars crash and burn

Eyes glare with hunger and thirst
Twinkle in delight in a demon’s dream
I loathe you I despise you
All of you
Both of you

The bells of hell, ringing and swinging
Leaping and soaring higher and higher
This is how I loved you
All of you
Many of you

I wear my heart as a crown
If you can comprehend the plot
My story is written without a thought
In my world there is no you
None of you
Any of you

Immortal

As you open your eyes wrapped in white satin sheet
I am the golden ray of sunlight that dazzle your feet

I am the medley of clouds that ripple through the skies
I am the glint of mischief in your eyes

When you take tired steps towards your rooftop shed

I am the wild dandelion, the glistening dew drop
A thousand lullabies to put you gently to bed

As you bury me deep, silently weep

I will rise, spring high I got promises to keep

Throw me out shut me down my dear
Fill my soul in pain and fear

Yet my vision my dream seem wondrously clear

As the day strokes the nightfall

As the thunders ramble on
I am the monsoon rain streaming down

I am the sparkle of a dozen moons that dance in the lake

I am the winds elevating rush
That smashes across your patio with a fiery gush

As you forget me for a while
I am the tiny robin that flaps its wings- chirp and sing

It is I who makes you smile

When symphony of Tagore calls
I am the rhythm that cradles your heart

As your eyes can see me not; your ears hear me not

I will fill your dreams with my aroma in a magic pot

You think I am dead
It’s all in your head
My omnipotent spirit lie somewhere safe

I am here, I am there, I am everywhere
Don’t waste your time digging my grave
Saying a prayer

I am your phantom
With luscious scent of incense
My usual flair

Balloons

Little girl of ten
With light in her eyes and ribbons in her hair
Fascinated with balloons
filled with emptiness and air
Along the way she created many more
Replaced with dreams and hopes
They slipped through her fingers
Twisted into the wind out of her sight
Standing on the stage in her last scene in the play
Grief in her eyes grey in her hair
Rummaging through obscurity

Unearthed the remaining few
A bouquet with magic, love, compassion
Tied gently to the heart and soul of whom she did not know
An anhedonic silhouette
A storm came
Dislodging the untouched balloons
Padlocks now hanging in her ironclad chest
Those are her last balloons
Simply the best